It’s been a great while since I’ve written here and its because I’ve been so busy that finding time and peace of mind to really pen or type down thoughts has been a task. I apologize for being so irregular. Nevertheless, I thought that today I’d take some time out to share some life updates which include major life lessons and realizations that I’ve come to have in the past two weeks.
Beginning with the updates, I had my school musical on the 31st which went great. It was the last time I got to perform on stage in a musical in high school and it turned out to be an experience that I’ll never forget. We performed The Lion King which was inspiring, exciting and fulfilling on a creative level!
I am sixteen going on seventeen,
I know it’s time to think,
Better beware, be canny and careful,
Baby, I’m on the brink!
My birthday is another week away and I’m excited. Being seventeen opens doors to me being able to learn to drive, finally!
But, with the celebrations, I also have my mid semester exams in the beginning of December for which I have started preparing along with my SAT classes and other internships! Check out HerCampus, Her Culture & She Speaks Media, some of the websites I’m working for currently!
Now, for the life lessons, where must I begin?
1. Accepting myself.
This has been a huge issue with me for a very long time where I drown my self esteem and confidence every time I meet or speak to someone who impresses me whether academically or otherwise. Liking aspects of other people’s personalities is alright but wanting to be someone else altogether isn’t. For a very long time, I have been hating on my shyness, my reserved nature and the fact that I am not the chattiest person around new people or people I am not comfortable with but of late I have realized that I am this way and I’m now comfortable with it. I’m not the most social being around, neither do I get called the ‘life of the party’ and nor do I feel like partying most of the times, but its okay. I love the fact that I enjoy my own company and have interests completely varied from those of my friends which helps me as they open me up to things I wouldn’t normally go for. It’s a great balance.
2. Letting go.
I have the horrible habit of sticking to situations and people longer than one should when things don’t work out. The sticking I am talking about here is emotional and not physical (that’d be weird).
Recently, a close friend of mine turned into a stranger due to reasons I still don’t know and it all happened overnight. I was shocked and thus I pondered on the reasons of why it was the way it was to the extent of obsessing over it and feeling confused and betrayed. But soon enough (exactly – overnight), I got over it. Its okay to not have an explanation or a reason and it isn’t necessary every time. That’s what I realized. People sometimes don’t care and the actions are enough to bring that into light, you don’t always need words. I am very reliant on words and often miss out on actions and this made me realize how much time I was wasting on a matter that was over the minute it occurred. I couldn’t be happier once that extra load was off.
3. People will hate you.
It’s easy to know this simple fact but hard to put it into acceptance and place it into your reality. It’s simple, there are people who absolutely loathe me, there are people who adore me, its a perfect balance which I don’t mind anymore.
4. Family comes first.
Don’t neglect it and don’t take it for granted no matter how easily you might slip into either sometimes.
5. Recognize the bad stuff, don’t ignore it.
I get intimidated and impressed too easily, I rush into things and I dig my own grave more often than not.
Those, above, are some of my flaws and it helps to know them. Till the time you ignore them, you won’t work towards improving them so get to know yourself and be your own critic and motivator.
Apart from those above, there are a thousand other things I could mention but they are topics for another day. No matter how simple, cliche or bitter, these realizations are lessons nonetheless and they have helped me in great extent in being confident and stressing less over things that are puny in the face of others that I should probably divert my attention towards.
I will probably not post too often this month, given that I need to prepare for my exams but you will see me posting a poem here and there.
Until next time,